A Wedding Toast (Kathi and Dan)

SIf I could dream up [Kathi]’s ideal match,
And create him cell by cell,
The finished piece would be just like [Dan],
Which explains today’s wedding bells.

Sweet and gentle spirits,
Soft, yet strong hearts,
Beautiful in every sense,
The perfect counterparts.

A home is more than walls,
And bricks and nails and boards.
A home is built from love,
And safety and support.

These two kind souls,
Who have come together,
Have the grit and strength it takes,
To withstand any weather.

Cheers to you both,
On your wedding day!
May your tomorrows be filled with joy,
And sweet memories made along the way.

Dustin (A Memorial Poem)

Forever young,
Forever free,
Forever dancing,
Forever happy.

Forever laughing,
Forever witty,
Forever singing,
Forever silly.

Forever your sweet boy,
Forever in those favorite shirts,
You know the Captain America ones?
Somehow they never collect dirt.

Endless games in the console,
Dr. Pepper on tap,
I’m surrounded by love,
Sitting here on Papa God’s lap.

I’m still there with you,
In all your memories,
In your heart and your thoughts,
In your treasured stories.

God chose the perfect momma,
When He gave me you,
You knew how to love me perfectly,
My whole life through.

I’m in good hands momma,
Completely safe from pain,
And I’ll be here playing,
Until we meet again.


Twenty-nine years ago,
In northwestern PA,
A little girl was born,
Making the world a better place.

He name was Andrea Lauren,
With brown hair and big brown eyes,
She would become a kindred spirit,
With whom I’d share the lows and the highs.

After meeting in elementary school,
Our friendship quickly flourished,
Despite too much DQ ice cream cake,
We were never malnourished.

Remember all the trips to Erie?
When Weathervane jeans were in?
Too young to drive ourselves,
We only found rides through asking.

Your one pair had that random hole in it,
That nobody talked about,
Though it was fashioned by the blade of a scissors,
Which, when you saw it, made you shout.

From playing soccer together,
To exploring the benefits of horticulture,
We always had each other’s backs,
Protecting each other from any vultures.

Remember my mom driving us to school,
When Enrique was her favorite CD?
Back before we created our morning mixes,
So we had cool songs to sing?

Our precious Perkins corner booth,
Was like a second home,
We spent so many hours there talking,
Drinking coffee through early morn.

I’ll never forget the time,
When we missed school one time too many,
Mr. Drake called your dad,
Who’s pound on my door was hard and heavy.

I gave him my best performance,
Entitled: sicker than sick,
But your dad wasn’t born yesterday,
So he didn’t fall for the trick.

And I still laugh to this day,
When I hear “Brass Monkey” on the radio,
I’ll never forget the party,
Where it was the guest star and hero.

Fast forward many years,
And look down two different paths,
You’ll see a friendship spanning time,
That always managed to last.

Today, you have a different last name,
And a beautiful family,
Yet if I was ever in need,
You’d still find time for me.

You are a best friend,
A one-of-a-kind treasure,
And when I try to put it into words,
It’s hard to truly take measure.

I appreciate your loyalty,
And admire you for being so strong,
You have a humongous heart,
And manage to forgive those who do wrong.

It doesn’t matter if it’s been a week,
Or if it’s been a year,
We always pick up where we left off,
A true gift that is rare.


My little lamb,
If you were a song,
You’d be my jam!

Here you are,
Turning twenty-one AGAIN,
You get better every year,
Yet you’re always a ten.

Yes, you are beautiful,
But you’re also wise,
And you have a brilliant accent,
You could never disguise.

It makes you swear words sound dainty,
It makes your potty mouth sound classy,
It makes anything you say sound intelligent,
But in context, smart-a**y.

You’re the Paul to my Kathy Bates,
In the thriller that is Misery,
You’re my heavens to Betsy,
And my dirty birdie.

Every time you’re around,
You give me a broader perspective,
You always keep moving forward,
Never too retrospective.

It’s funny that with six sisters,
I didn’t realize I needed another,
Until you showed up,
And married my brother.

I’m glad that of everyone out there,
Dean chose you,
Cause you’re friggin’ awesome,
And you’re funny as poo.

I still don’t understand,
How you turned him into a softy,
Especially when it comes to Harry,
I’d have thought your ambitions were too lofty.

Dean is lucky to have you,
In fact our entire family is,
Cause you’re completely wonderful,
And we all think you’re the shiz.

You are incessantly creative,
Always coming up with an interesting story,
With your fictional… I mean truth-telling journaling/reporting,
Entertaining, in all its glory.

You make this world,
A better place to live,
With your authenticity and realness,
And the kindness that you give.

Cheers to another year,
Hopefully your best one yet,
You are loved and treasured,
The greatest Brit I’ve ever met.


He robbed the cradle,
When she was eighteen,
Built her a castle,
And made her his queen.

He strums her ballads,
With his air guitar,
It beckons her to the bedroom,
When she’s near or far.

Through hell and high water,
He would roam,
Her knight in shining armor,
To bring her home.

He’s not much for candles,
Flowers, or roses.
He wooes her in sandals,
And sexy poses.

She is the purple martin,
In his sky,
She’s the shiny red apple,
Of his eye.

She’s his ace of spades,
His royal crown,
Their love never fades,
From sun up to sun down.


Katie, Katie.
What a lady.
It’s hard to believe
She’s half of eighty.

She’s the essence of beauty,
The very essence of grace,
She changes the atmosphere,
Just showing her face.

She’s soft, she’s sweet.
She’s feisty, she’s tough.
But if you mess with her kids,
She won’t hesitate to get rough.

She’s the definition of peace,
She oozes gratitude.
She’s the favorite aunt to each niece.
And she always has a good attitude.

When everything is chaos,
She stays calm,
And she remains grounded,
In any storm.

She’s the mother to everyone,
The lost souls and the found.
Her ability to comfort is second to none,
And she can do it, without making a sound.

If your world has shattered,
And the pieces fall apart,
She’ll sit with you for hours,
And listen to your heart.

Then she’ll take the pieces,
And put them back together.
You’ll walk away a new soul,
Having been changed forever.

You feel it in her gestures,
And in the way she moves,
God’s constantly flowing through her,
Which her presence easily proves.

Today we honor her,
And we shower her with love.
Because that’s what she spends her life
Doing for all of us.


Eleni vanRoden,
I wish I could give you a hug!
But you live two states away,
So you’ll have to settle for poetic love.

When I think of you,
I think of someone who is a blast!
Elon, Charlotte, Raleigh,
We’ve taken many cities with class.

Isn’t that what you call it,
When a tow truck drives you home?
Oh, our nights at Elon,
West End, Brown & Co.

Remember your 21st?
We went out despite an 8am?
Man, we were champs,
Rallying to no end.

The Queen City was great!
Downtown escapades & our mud run,
It didn’t matter what we did,
We always had fun!

Did I tell you that I’m proud of you?
For finishing law school?
I admire your work ethic,
And your ability to stay relevant/cool.

Remember our walk to the Os game,
When we got swallowed up in the Baltimore Riot?
If someone thinks it wasn’t scary,
I’d like to see them try it.

How about the time we accidentally snuck into,
The fort Francis Scott Key wrote about?
“Gina, everyone is wearing matching stickers,
That first building was the line, no doubt!”

Chicago was incredible,
Except getting bad directions on the train,
Giordano’s, more so than our race,
Oh and getting to the Cub’s stadium in the rain.

Though our habits have been tamed,
Our hangouts remain legendary,
We’ve matured in many ways,
So the next morning’s are less scary.

We’re still good at killing brunch,
And having long roof-top talks,
We’re still good at creating humor,
Even on simple things, like walks.

Anyways, sweet girl,
Just a few more things:
I appreciate your kindness,
And the sunshine that it brings.

I adore your sense of humor,
I admire your intelligence,
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders,
You’re a tough cookie… with elegance.

Marvin and Dean

Happy Birthday,
To Marvin and Dean,
I know you guys don’t like much attention,
So I’ll try not to make a scene.

Nor will I type your ages,
Cause you both look great,
We can keep everyone guessing,
Twenty-two? Thirty-eight?

They’ll never know,
And I’ll never tell,
Cause from prior experience,
You’re not pleasant when you yell.

My only brothers,
Share the same birthday,
I guess the heavens aligned,
Thirteen years apart, to the day.

You’re my only siblings,
Without a Facebook account,
Cause you mind your own business,
And don’t like when others try to recount.

You’re both driven,
And you’re funny as can be,
Your sense of humor is always,
Politically incorrect and witty.

Marvin, your intelligence,
Is intimidating and worth applaud.
Sometimes when I don’t understand,
I simply smile and nod.

And Dean, oh my goodness,
You’re so stinkin’ nice,
When it comes to helping others,
You never think twice!

You both contain your feelings,
Inside your collected exterior,
But when you get stressed out:

Your tempers are as fierce,
As the ocean is deep,
Yet you manage to share wisdom,
Most times when you speak.

You would never be pretentious,
You are authentic and real,
So when you have successes,
You act like it’s no big deal.

You’re both humble and strong,
You’re thoughtful and wise,
But if I’m gonna be honest,
Marvin has the nicer eyes.

Sorry Dean,
Try not to take it personal,
I got stuck with brown eyes too,
So I’ll be merciful.

Anyways, I hope today full of laughter,
I hope it’s full of blessings,
I hope you feel extra peaceful,
So that you spend less time stressing.

I love you both,
For your quirks and all,
And I’ll leave it at that,
So I don’t make you bawl.

Joanna Banana

Joanna Banana,
Sweet Josi Pie,
I won’t call you t-rex today,
Cause I’m not trying to die.

But only for today,
Because we’re celebrating the day of your birth,
I want you to feel perfectly special,
And I want you to know your worth.

(Side note: When I call you t-rex,
And joke about your short arms,
I’m just giving you a hard time,
I don’t mean any harm.)

You are a ray of sunshine,
Anywhere you go,
Your inner radiance,
Makes your eyes glow.

You are warm and kind,
You wear your heart on your sleeve,
You’re the first to help out,
And the last one to leave.

You’re talented and lovable,
With an incredible sense of humor,
You see the best in others,
So you’re not one to start a rumor.

You say what you think,
You’re honest and direct,
You always see the bigger picture,
You’re not one to nitpick or dissect.

You take things as they come,
You embrace the waves of change,
You never get unsettled,
When your life is rearranged.

Your heart is the size,
Of the state of Texas,
Remember the time,
You hit a dumpster with your Lexus?

(Stay on track,
Leave out the jokes,
Save them for tomorrow,
Then unload the pokes).

You are a great role model,
You are a best friend,
I’m glad we are sisters,
And will be together through the end.

We will probably get kicked out,
Of long term care facilities,
For our obnoxious laughter,
And our immature abilities.

We will always be,
Young at heart,
Always easing the load,
By finding humor from the start!

I hope we never get arrested,
By the NSA,
For our silly conversations,
And the politically incorrect things we say.

No matter what tomorrow brings,
We are in for a good ride,
Cause we’ll always have each other,
Even after the day one of us dies.

If I pass before you,
I’m going to beg the big guy upstairs,
To let me come haunt you,
To give you gray hairs.

I would put lead-bestos into your laundry,
And sneak Quest bars into Zane’s lunch,
How did THIS happen at his age?
You won’t even have a hunch.

Cause schools don’t have gas stations,
And he can’t drive a car,
By the time he feels IT happening,
He probably couldn’t make it far.

All jokes aside,
If I did pass first,
I’d want you to reflect on,
Our sweet memories since birth.

Thank you for being there,
Thank you for being exactly the way you are,
You’re a sun in my sky,
And in the darkness, you’re a star.

You always bring light,
With the truth you share,
And when you don’t have time,
You find some to spare.

Because you are so caring,
You are so incredibly sweet,
You always think of ways to help,
And you find ways to treat.

You’re the best play mate,
Even though we are aging,
Though the older we get,
Our humor never stops raging.

I love you so much,
For everything you were made to be,
And I thank God regularly,
That He gave you to me.

Yo, Zoe!

Yo, Zoe!
I am thankful for you,
I appreciate you so much,
And all that you do!

When we first met,
My life was a bit bleak,
You offered encouragement,
Through the positive words you’d speak.

We’ve shared,
Some hysterical memories,
Some crazy adventures,
Some border-line emergencies.

You were there,
During some of my worst indiscretions,
You helped me pick up the pieces,
Without even asking questions.

I never once felt judged,
And you never held anything over my head,
You offered encouragement,
And kindness instead.

It’s hard to believe,
That we’ve only been friends for three years,
Cause it seems like we’ve been through so much:
Laughter, pain, and tears.

You push me,
And I push you,
When life gets tough,
We help each other pull through.

You understand me,
In so many ways,
I look forward to being friends,
For many, many days.

I’m sure we will continue,
Our fun escapades,
Way into the future,
Into our old age.

We’ll still own Body Pump,
When we are in our nineties,
Showing the young punks,
You can still kick a** after twenties.

I’m not sure we’ll make hot yoga,
But we can probably try,
Though if we have heart conditions,
This could make us die.

We might lose some time,
During our races,
Cause we’ll have hip problems,
And knee replacements.

And we’ll probably never stop,
Having our junk-foodie meals,
Even if our cholesterol is high,
And we have doctors on our heels.

I’m grateful for the past,
I’m grateful for the present,
I’m glad you’ve been a part of it!
You’re basically God-sent.