I’m not sure if we’ve been introduced,
But I wanted to put this out there,
In case later my nerves make my words reduced.
I haven’t been open to you,
Because I’ve been demanding “the one,”
Not because I was in a rush,
But mostly because I feared being undone.
I didn’t want to endure the possibility,
Of loving again and losing,
So I was cowering behind pain,
Always saying no and refusing.
I said I was being selective,
But I think the truth is that I was afraid,
That I would make myself vulnerable,
And possibly end up being betrayed.
So many chances,
Were never had,
Regardless of who you were,
I found something bad.
I slammed doors before they opened,
Again and again,
Telling myself you weren’t Prince Charming,
When I was just being a chicken.
Like everyone else,
I’ve been hurt a few times,
And each time I became more fearful,
Setting up more barricades and defense lines.
Then one day it happened,
I involuntarily loved again,
I made my heart wide open,
Guess what? It was the wrong man.
In spite of the pain that ensued,
I learned something new,
I had an epiphany,
Or more of a breakthrough:
Everyone we love,
Is going to be lost,
Whether for a little or for forever,
Loving always has a cost.
I have a reassurance now,
That no matter what, I’ll be alright,
So I’m no longer scared,
And I’m way less uptight.
I’m probably going to think your “it,”
And I may end up being wrong,
But there is no half-way in love,
So I’ll let mine be strong.
Maybe you’ll be here for a minute,
Maybe you’ll be here for a lifetime,
No matter how things end up,
I hope it’s an enriching time.
I hope I’ll add to your life,
And expand your perspective,
I hope I’ll make you laugh,
I hope I don’t drive you crazy by being introspective.
You can hit me like a wave,
You can sweep me off my feet,
You don’t need a reservation,
I don’t have a plan to retreat.
I want to discover new places,
I want to explore new land,
And even it’s not for forever,
Experiences mean more when you’re holding a hand.
Hopefully this next time,
We can finally get it right,
I think I found who I am now,
And I think I have direction in sight.
You can rest assured,
That I’ll do my best,
To prevent pain for us both,
Though life doesn’t have a bullet proof vest.
I’ll use wisdom and clarity,
My head and my heart,
My soul and my spirit,
To give us a fighting start.
© Regina Mast 2016